2008 is the year of the face ...

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Okay y’all, I decided a while back that 2008 was going to be my year to get my face on the right track. After years of facial neglect from being raised in the desert and bad face genes, I decided to take the bull by the horns and change what nature and heredity has caused: dull, blotchy skin with pores the size of Tennessee.

Anyway, I told Jack that I was going to use my little nest egg that I’ve been saving and invest it completely in my face in 2008. He said if I was going to be investing in my body, then I should use my nest egg to get my back in order, something else I keep neglecting. I have had lower back pain for 15 years. Yes, I’ve been to the doctor and not a thing is wrong with me. All I need to do is have a better work out regime and throw away all my high heel shoes. Since this is about as likely to happen as my pore size being reduced, I think I’m going to take a chance on my face – I mean, come on – get rid of my shoes?

So, I told Jack that 2008-IS-THE-YEAR-OF-THE-FACE; 2009-IS-THE-YEAR-OF-THE-SPINE…

And of course I said it in a cheerleader chant mode with hand motions and everything. Yes, I’m a nut and my husband loves me for it. He just shook his head and got right back to reading the newspaper.

Today I had microdermabrasion. I just have to know – have you ever had microdermabrasion? It felt like a cat was licking my face! I guess the aesthetician will get to know my warped sense of humor, being that I need to visit her about 364 more times to get my pores fixed – provided that she still wants to see me after today …


Anyway, I’m lying on my back as she turns on the sandblasting machine. It rumbles and roars as she begins stroking my face with the wand. She does about 3 strokes and that’s about all I could take without moving some part of my body. So I begin wiggling my toes. This lasts for a couple of more strokes and then I have to start shaking my feet. I just COULD NOT lie still! I mean, come on - a big fat cat was licking my face! And you know how it feels when you’re being tickled – you curl your toes, and kick around your legs and arms uncontrollably. That’s just what I had to do. I started squealing and laughing so hard that I had to holler, TIMES! Then I had to sit up and crack up. I laughed, and laughed… Not a still body laugh, but a buckled over, out of control gut laugh! She had to just stand there holding the cat tongue gadget and wait for me to get myself together!

I’m laughing out loud right now as I type this because it was so darn funny – and embarrassing. All I know for sure is that I have never been so tickled in my life, literally. At this point, as much as I need to have my face sandblasted, I don’t know if I will be able to go through it again…

< Go Back

My Stories